Does InBev Know What They Have?

The Sea World parks have always fascinated me.

My first Sea World experience was back in the mid-seventies, at the now-defunct Sea World Ohio, near Cleveland. A little history lesson: that park was a real jewel among the Sea World properties, outperforming expectations from day one. You want some background on it, check out Geoorge Millay's biography The Wave Maker.

The Super Friends were performing ski shows at Sea World during my first visit. It was my first exposure to Mera, Aquaman's wife. Meee-Yow!

While you have your nose in that really great history of the theme park business, read up on George's thoughts regarding the Marine Mammal Protection Act. That little bit of legislation had a big impact on the theme park industry, and Sea World in particular. Why?

Well, cutting to the chase, when the MMPA was passed in 1972, it prohibited Americans from harassing, hunting, capturing, or killing marine animals in United States waters or on the high seas. The upshot: companies couldn't go out and snatch a bunch of killer whales and dolphins, just 'cause.

Ah, but Sea World already had these beasties, and there was nothing preventing them from continuing to display them, or make them jump through rings of fire, or dance to Village People songs. Thing was, Sea World became one of the only games in town with that little law.

That's what she said...

So, InBev grabs up Anheuser Busch and there's all this talk about selling off the parks to pay down the debt on that deal. But maybe those parks are more valuable than folks give them credit for, just because they have those assets.

Add in the deal that the Busch parks have in place with the Sesame Street characters here in the United States, plus the agreement with Nakheel in Dubai...well, you hate to see these parks dismantled, but it sure seems like you could maybe make more money by not keeping all these parks lumped together.

What would Disney or Universal do if offered the chance to buy Sesame Place and also snatch up the rights to use the Sesame characters here in the United States?

What would Merlin Entertainment or Oriental Land Company do if they were given a chance to own the three Sea World parks here in the United States, moving them from foreign players to immediate contenders in the Orlando, So. Cal., and (oh yeah) San Antonio markets?

Seems like there are a lot of cool possibilities. Also some scary ones. Here's hoping that whatever happens, these parks aren't tarnished in the process.

How Does This Make Any Sense???

If you think this makes no sense, try piecing together Jim Hill's most recent story.

Ask me six or seven years ago and I would've told you that Jim Hill was my favorite Disnoid-writer in the whole wide Interweb. For reasons we won't bother with here, that changed, but I've always believed Jim was one of the gang--a Disney geek with enough of a head on his shoulders to be skeptical when required. If anything, I thought the guy was getting to be a little too rough on the Mouse following the Pixar purchase a couple of years back.

But then, what the heck is this story Jim "broke" on Friday?

Jim's purportedly got the inside scoop on WDW's 5th gate, whimsically referred to as Disney's Night Kingdom or DNK . And maybe he does--I'm not suggesting he's making things up. But look at what he's describing. First off, the title suggests that the Mouse is set "to reimagine the Disney-theme-park-going experience." And maybe the key word to appreciate in that phrase is the "Disney" modifier, because Jim then goes on to explain that this park is really just aping Sea World's Discovery Cove.

Read the specific experiences Hill is listing: rock climbing, spelunking, frolicing with penguins, zip lining over crocodiles, and--OH YEAH--eating gourmet meals and watching state-of-the-art stage shows. Huh? Jim's article just gives that randomness a pass.

But I think this is my favorite part of the whole story:

"I know, I know. A lot of you may have trouble wrapping your heads around a Disney theme park that's as distinctly different as DNK is going to be."

Yes, I am sure it is all the reader's fault, not being able to make sense out of this Frankensteined mess that's been described. Just as it was guests' fault for not appreciating the masterpiece that was Disney's California Adventure on opening day. At least the marketing department will be there to show us the way!

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Who knows, if Disney decides to cook up this stew, they may just pull it off. But this is the same company that:

1. took nearly a decade to convince guests that a $750 million zoo was worth a visit.
2. is throwing in the towel and an extra billion dollars to pull DCA out of the ashes.
3. routinely scares guests with its Year of a Million Dreams-scheme.
4. marketed the Disney Institute big-time and then quietly euthanized it due to lack of interest.

Jim thinks the big question is whether his readers will shell out $250-$300 to visit this thing he's outlined. Yeah...THAT'S the big question alright.

For my part, I wonder what the heart of the place is, what's the big idea? Swimming with dolphins I get--it's what every kid who goes to Sea World dreams of...doing that in an island setting has a romance to it. But what is this "Night Kingdom?" It sounds like a downtown version of Medieval Times.

If Jim wants to ask his audience questions, how about asking what everyone thinks about Disney swiping a successful operating model from another park down the street?

Or, if Jim is really interested in how this park and your billfold might interact, how about finding out whether guests would prefer to spend their $300 bucks on "Night Kingdom" or Discovery Cove?

I firmly believe that mixing up the theme park model is necessary and that Discovery Cove is an indicator of what bold moves and great ideas--when paired together--can yield. There are so many more opportunities out there...especially when capacity can get dialed down. I sincerely hope Disney has that great new attraction in their grasp. If they do, Jim Hill's story did nothing to promote it.