Tuesday, July 22, 2008

WALL*E or The Movie Disney's Lawyers Forgot

I loved WALL*E. Saw it for the second time this past weekend.



(c) Disney


It is a gorgeous film. At times it is sublime. The first act is brilliant, ranks among the best animation I have ever seen.

After that, well, it's not that the film flags...it's more like it starts to get "important" or "relevant" but doesn't (or can't) actually get around to saying what's on it's mind. Loads of folks, from Frank Rich to The Lord Obama, are imposing their own super-smart reading onto this film...but I am not so sure the guys who made the movie really knew what to make of it.


That's really not a big beef...it is still a really enjoyable escape.

But I do have to ask WHAT WERE THEY THINKING when it comes to this scene:

WALL*E, the precocious garbage compactor with a mind of his own, has been busy for hundreds of years mashing trash in an effort to tidy up an Earth overrun with crud. Along the way, the android with a heart of gold has developed an affinity for old stuff that he finds and begins collecting this stuff in his shipping container-esque hovel. Its full of Rubik's Cubes, old silverware, and bobblehead toys. Think of the Little Mermaid and all her thingamabobs. Then think of some Ebay sicko. That's WALL*E.

THE DISTURBING PART comes when WALL*E meets EVE and attempts to court this strangely hot floating ipod. WALL*E shows EVE his junk (meaning the stuff he's collected in his little robo shack). Among the light bulbs and sporks, WALL*E finds one extra-special little toy to share...a lighter.



??? (c) Disney

That's right, a lighter. Those things that kids from 2-8 are already fascinated with. Those things that toddlers are notorious for getting their paws on and setting fire to their mama's mattress.

So, that's an appropriate thing for a Disney character to be playing with, showing off to his lady. Right?

The really confusing thing for me is that, I understand that there was some kind of metaphor or symbolism at work between "fire" and the weed that WALL*E discovers on the otherwise desolate Earth, but it was really tenuous. I didn't really get it.

Hopefully, no kids will see this tomfoolery and take it upon themselves to do some Polynesian fire dance with Daddy's Zippo. Even so, how in the heck did Disney's lawyers give this a pass?


Brighter indeed. The world will burn!

(c) Disney

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Remember When These Places Used to be FUN???


I just ate fourteen churros, two turkey legs, and a Toll House ice cream cookie. And now I have a tummy ache. This is all your fault, you BIG DUMMY!

The State of Florida just released a report that summarizes injuries in the Orlando-area theme parks. Let's see here:

OH MY GOD! Two people got broken ankles walking around in theme parks! AND HOLY GEEZ! Some middle aged lady had a heart attack! AND NUH UH! Someone "inhaled water"...AT A WATER PARK!!!

The worst: someone got nauseated on the Mummy. I wonder why that might have happened?

Seriously, though, safety is such a huge priority for these parks. It has to be...why would people shell out 70+ clams a day just to risk their necks? These reports are just stupid. When these trusted public officials aren't off creating a panic about some crazy, out of control ride that should never have been built, they publish these "idiot chronicles."

And speaking of crazy, out of control rides that should have never been built, check out the number of reported incidents at Epcot. ZERO. Guess that maniacal Mission:SPACE got all the killing out of its system.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Are the French People Ready for This?


Ratatouille Rémy living character


Hard to tell what is happening here, but definitely a funny idea. What's up with his arms?

Thanks to the cats at Photosmagiques.com!

I Know You, I Walked Thru You Once Upon a Dream

The Sleeping Beauty Castle Walk Thru (one of the funkiest Disneyland attractions I ever visited) is officially going to reopen! Hoo-Ray! Just in time for BlueRay!

Now, this was never any E-Ticket attraction. No, this was one of those small "surprise" experiences that gives Disneyland the richness that no other park can even approach.


Must have been watching Conversations with Michael Eisner. Zzzzzzz.


And I'm glad to see Tony Baxter's comments that they are modeling this redo off the original Eyvind Earle design, not the window-display version that took over in the seventies.

Here's the press release.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Bob says....

An' here I sit so patiently
Waiting to find out what price
You have to pay to get out of
Going through all these things twice.
Thanks, Bob.
You can find that kind of poetry throughout Blonde on Blonde. Go git it.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Does InBev Know What They Have?

The Sea World parks have always fascinated me.

My first Sea World experience was back in the mid-seventies, at the now-defunct Sea World Ohio, near Cleveland. A little history lesson: that park was a real jewel among the Sea World properties, outperforming expectations from day one. You want some background on it, check out Geoorge Millay's biography The Wave Maker.



The Super Friends were performing ski shows at Sea World during my first visit. It was my first exposure to Mera, Aquaman's wife. Meee-Yow!


While you have your nose in that really great history of the theme park business, read up on George's thoughts regarding the Marine Mammal Protection Act. That little bit of legislation had a big impact on the theme park industry, and Sea World in particular. Why?

Well, cutting to the chase, when the MMPA was passed in 1972, it prohibited Americans from harassing, hunting, capturing, or killing marine animals in United States waters or on the high seas. The upshot: companies couldn't go out and snatch a bunch of killer whales and dolphins, just 'cause.

Ah, but Sea World already had these beasties, and there was nothing preventing them from continuing to display them, or make them jump through rings of fire, or dance to Village People songs. Thing was, Sea World became one of the only games in town with that little law.


That's what she said...

So, InBev grabs up Anheuser Busch and there's all this talk about selling off the parks to pay down the debt on that deal. But maybe those parks are more valuable than folks give them credit for, just because they have those assets.

Add in the deal that the Busch parks have in place with the Sesame Street characters here in the United States, plus the agreement with Nakheel in Dubai...well, you hate to see these parks dismantled, but it sure seems like you could maybe make more money by not keeping all these parks lumped together.

What would Disney or Universal do if offered the chance to buy Sesame Place and also snatch up the rights to use the Sesame characters here in the United States?

What would Merlin Entertainment or Oriental Land Company do if they were given a chance to own the three Sea World parks here in the United States, moving them from foreign players to immediate contenders in the Orlando, So. Cal., and (oh yeah) San Antonio markets?

Seems like there are a lot of cool possibilities. Also some scary ones. Here's hoping that whatever happens, these parks aren't tarnished in the process.

Random Sketch

too many meetings

Thursday, July 3, 2008

What Disney's Hollywood Studios Doesn't Need...

...is another show. Good lord, you spend a day at this joint and it's hurry-hurry, scurry-scurry from one scheduled event to another. Guess it wouldn't be so bad if the shows ran all day--like they do at Sea World--but most of Disney's shows shut down just about the time that the Florida sun switches from Atomic to Something Tolerable.

If Toy Story Mania proves anything, it's that the Studios need(s) more rides to fill out the guest experience. Especially family rides.

So, as Jim Hill provides this news about the new American Idol attraction--one more big show--I just gotta think this is another misguided Marketing-driven attraction that throws this park even further out of balance.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Million Dollar Spud

Just back from a ridiculously-long vacation to the sunshine state and the Vacation Kingdom of the World. While there, we made sure to visit Toy Story/Midway Mania ride at Disney's MGM Hollywood Studios Theme Park. More about the ride below. This entry begins with a recounting of our second visit to this attraction.

Anyway, we took the Standby line which was posted at 65 minutes but was chucking along so quick, it seemed like our wait would be maybe half that. Of course, the idiot who thinks that way jinxes himself. And sure enough, the line just stopped.

I used this time to take in the queue (nothing really special, big toys on a thin budget) and the much-lauded Tater Head animatronic (NOT visible to Fastpassers). So we stood watching the Potato. Pretty soon, he started acting weird. He'd freeze. Then he'd hit the wall. He took his ear out (nice). When he went to shove it back in, he kind of just lobbed it onto the floor (ooops!).

Below is a suboptimal, blurry shot of the unfortunate Cast Member who had to walk the gauntlet of grumbling Standby guests so he could replace the giant spud-ear using a highly-themed aluminum stepladder.
(Seriously, I'm totally embarrassed at the quality of this shot.)




"Hurry up, ya hockey puck! Bob Iger spent more on my nose than you'll make in a lifetime!"

Tater Head continued to sputter and whirr as we stood in place for 90 minutes. Once, he went haywire when an irritable guest used an emergency exit near the spud...seemed like some proximity sensor killed the show.


Panic Bar versus Tater Head. Panic Bar WINS!

Eventually though, we did ride (after a 130 minute wait...STOOPID Fastpass). And it is a very well done attraction. Insanely addictive.