Sunday, October 12, 2008

Tell Tale Signs



A new Bob Dylan album is a blessed and anxious event inside my head. On one hand, IT'S A NEW BOB DYLAN ALBUM! On the other, Dylan isn't always the most accessible creature. Even with his newfound mainstream-iness and approachability, the man's works remain deep, nigh-imprenetrable. It has taken me years to appreciate some of Dylan's songs. There are many others I just to this day don't get.


So, a new Bob Dylan album. A collection of so-called bootlegs. And it is divine.


Marchin' to the City is worth the price of admission. From the moment it starts, spare piano and a weary singer "lookin' for nothin' in anyone's eyes" you know this will be a treat. There's a pretty girl, she'd done the man wrong, the lost hopes of "drinking from life's clear streams" and "dreaming life's sweet dreams." All big, powerful, and yet tender and small and, like so much of Dylan's great works, so human.


Add in The Lonesome River and Red River Shore, this album is over the top. Get it!

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

WALL*E or The Movie Disney's Lawyers Forgot

I loved WALL*E. Saw it for the second time this past weekend.



(c) Disney


It is a gorgeous film. At times it is sublime. The first act is brilliant, ranks among the best animation I have ever seen.

After that, well, it's not that the film flags...it's more like it starts to get "important" or "relevant" but doesn't (or can't) actually get around to saying what's on it's mind. Loads of folks, from Frank Rich to The Lord Obama, are imposing their own super-smart reading onto this film...but I am not so sure the guys who made the movie really knew what to make of it.


That's really not a big beef...it is still a really enjoyable escape.

But I do have to ask WHAT WERE THEY THINKING when it comes to this scene:

WALL*E, the precocious garbage compactor with a mind of his own, has been busy for hundreds of years mashing trash in an effort to tidy up an Earth overrun with crud. Along the way, the android with a heart of gold has developed an affinity for old stuff that he finds and begins collecting this stuff in his shipping container-esque hovel. Its full of Rubik's Cubes, old silverware, and bobblehead toys. Think of the Little Mermaid and all her thingamabobs. Then think of some Ebay sicko. That's WALL*E.

THE DISTURBING PART comes when WALL*E meets EVE and attempts to court this strangely hot floating ipod. WALL*E shows EVE his junk (meaning the stuff he's collected in his little robo shack). Among the light bulbs and sporks, WALL*E finds one extra-special little toy to share...a lighter.



??? (c) Disney

That's right, a lighter. Those things that kids from 2-8 are already fascinated with. Those things that toddlers are notorious for getting their paws on and setting fire to their mama's mattress.

So, that's an appropriate thing for a Disney character to be playing with, showing off to his lady. Right?

The really confusing thing for me is that, I understand that there was some kind of metaphor or symbolism at work between "fire" and the weed that WALL*E discovers on the otherwise desolate Earth, but it was really tenuous. I didn't really get it.

Hopefully, no kids will see this tomfoolery and take it upon themselves to do some Polynesian fire dance with Daddy's Zippo. Even so, how in the heck did Disney's lawyers give this a pass?


Brighter indeed. The world will burn!

(c) Disney

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Remember When These Places Used to be FUN???


I just ate fourteen churros, two turkey legs, and a Toll House ice cream cookie. And now I have a tummy ache. This is all your fault, you BIG DUMMY!

The State of Florida just released a report that summarizes injuries in the Orlando-area theme parks. Let's see here:

OH MY GOD! Two people got broken ankles walking around in theme parks! AND HOLY GEEZ! Some middle aged lady had a heart attack! AND NUH UH! Someone "inhaled water"...AT A WATER PARK!!!

The worst: someone got nauseated on the Mummy. I wonder why that might have happened?

Seriously, though, safety is such a huge priority for these parks. It has to be...why would people shell out 70+ clams a day just to risk their necks? These reports are just stupid. When these trusted public officials aren't off creating a panic about some crazy, out of control ride that should never have been built, they publish these "idiot chronicles."

And speaking of crazy, out of control rides that should have never been built, check out the number of reported incidents at Epcot. ZERO. Guess that maniacal Mission:SPACE got all the killing out of its system.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Are the French People Ready for This?


Ratatouille Rémy living character


Hard to tell what is happening here, but definitely a funny idea. What's up with his arms?

Thanks to the cats at Photosmagiques.com!

I Know You, I Walked Thru You Once Upon a Dream

The Sleeping Beauty Castle Walk Thru (one of the funkiest Disneyland attractions I ever visited) is officially going to reopen! Hoo-Ray! Just in time for BlueRay!

Now, this was never any E-Ticket attraction. No, this was one of those small "surprise" experiences that gives Disneyland the richness that no other park can even approach.


Must have been watching Conversations with Michael Eisner. Zzzzzzz.


And I'm glad to see Tony Baxter's comments that they are modeling this redo off the original Eyvind Earle design, not the window-display version that took over in the seventies.

Here's the press release.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Bob says....

An' here I sit so patiently
Waiting to find out what price
You have to pay to get out of
Going through all these things twice.
Thanks, Bob.
You can find that kind of poetry throughout Blonde on Blonde. Go git it.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Does InBev Know What They Have?

The Sea World parks have always fascinated me.

My first Sea World experience was back in the mid-seventies, at the now-defunct Sea World Ohio, near Cleveland. A little history lesson: that park was a real jewel among the Sea World properties, outperforming expectations from day one. You want some background on it, check out Geoorge Millay's biography The Wave Maker.



The Super Friends were performing ski shows at Sea World during my first visit. It was my first exposure to Mera, Aquaman's wife. Meee-Yow!


While you have your nose in that really great history of the theme park business, read up on George's thoughts regarding the Marine Mammal Protection Act. That little bit of legislation had a big impact on the theme park industry, and Sea World in particular. Why?

Well, cutting to the chase, when the MMPA was passed in 1972, it prohibited Americans from harassing, hunting, capturing, or killing marine animals in United States waters or on the high seas. The upshot: companies couldn't go out and snatch a bunch of killer whales and dolphins, just 'cause.

Ah, but Sea World already had these beasties, and there was nothing preventing them from continuing to display them, or make them jump through rings of fire, or dance to Village People songs. Thing was, Sea World became one of the only games in town with that little law.


That's what she said...

So, InBev grabs up Anheuser Busch and there's all this talk about selling off the parks to pay down the debt on that deal. But maybe those parks are more valuable than folks give them credit for, just because they have those assets.

Add in the deal that the Busch parks have in place with the Sesame Street characters here in the United States, plus the agreement with Nakheel in Dubai...well, you hate to see these parks dismantled, but it sure seems like you could maybe make more money by not keeping all these parks lumped together.

What would Disney or Universal do if offered the chance to buy Sesame Place and also snatch up the rights to use the Sesame characters here in the United States?

What would Merlin Entertainment or Oriental Land Company do if they were given a chance to own the three Sea World parks here in the United States, moving them from foreign players to immediate contenders in the Orlando, So. Cal., and (oh yeah) San Antonio markets?

Seems like there are a lot of cool possibilities. Also some scary ones. Here's hoping that whatever happens, these parks aren't tarnished in the process.

Random Sketch

too many meetings

Thursday, July 3, 2008

What Disney's Hollywood Studios Doesn't Need...

...is another show. Good lord, you spend a day at this joint and it's hurry-hurry, scurry-scurry from one scheduled event to another. Guess it wouldn't be so bad if the shows ran all day--like they do at Sea World--but most of Disney's shows shut down just about the time that the Florida sun switches from Atomic to Something Tolerable.

If Toy Story Mania proves anything, it's that the Studios need(s) more rides to fill out the guest experience. Especially family rides.

So, as Jim Hill provides this news about the new American Idol attraction--one more big show--I just gotta think this is another misguided Marketing-driven attraction that throws this park even further out of balance.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Million Dollar Spud

Just back from a ridiculously-long vacation to the sunshine state and the Vacation Kingdom of the World. While there, we made sure to visit Toy Story/Midway Mania ride at Disney's MGM Hollywood Studios Theme Park. More about the ride below. This entry begins with a recounting of our second visit to this attraction.

Anyway, we took the Standby line which was posted at 65 minutes but was chucking along so quick, it seemed like our wait would be maybe half that. Of course, the idiot who thinks that way jinxes himself. And sure enough, the line just stopped.

I used this time to take in the queue (nothing really special, big toys on a thin budget) and the much-lauded Tater Head animatronic (NOT visible to Fastpassers). So we stood watching the Potato. Pretty soon, he started acting weird. He'd freeze. Then he'd hit the wall. He took his ear out (nice). When he went to shove it back in, he kind of just lobbed it onto the floor (ooops!).

Below is a suboptimal, blurry shot of the unfortunate Cast Member who had to walk the gauntlet of grumbling Standby guests so he could replace the giant spud-ear using a highly-themed aluminum stepladder.
(Seriously, I'm totally embarrassed at the quality of this shot.)




"Hurry up, ya hockey puck! Bob Iger spent more on my nose than you'll make in a lifetime!"

Tater Head continued to sputter and whirr as we stood in place for 90 minutes. Once, he went haywire when an irritable guest used an emergency exit near the spud...seemed like some proximity sensor killed the show.


Panic Bar versus Tater Head. Panic Bar WINS!

Eventually though, we did ride (after a 130 minute wait...STOOPID Fastpass). And it is a very well done attraction. Insanely addictive.

Monday, June 30, 2008

THE FUNMEISTER IS DEAD!

LONG LIVE THE FUNMEISTER!





I can't figure out whether I should be sad or resigned to the idea that Pleasure Island wil officially be shuttered this September. The memories of great times are there, but it has been way too much work to pretend that PI was fun for, oh, maybe the last decade. Seriously, how many times can you sit through the same show at Adventurers Club and pretend the old yarns are still funny, or even interesting?

What I do mourn is the fact that Pleasure Island never lived up to its potential and now never will. There was always this nugget inside me that hoped the Mouse would someday see that PI could be "grown up" and still every bit as rich and fanciful as the best Disney attraction.

Instead we say goodnight to Merriweather Adam Pleasure, his idiot sons, the canvas factory, the pigeons from Sandusky, and the Balderdash Awards. We loved you when you were young. But we'd rather see you dead than have you living as some gibbering, drooling old fart.

Saturday, April 5, 2008

Marty's Small World


I have loads of respect for Marty Sklar. So when he pipes up about this Small World character overlay, you have to take notice.

Two things I'll point out...the most minor point first:

Point One (edited for brevity's sake): Marty says that in order, "to make 'It’s A Small World' even more relevant to our guests, Tony Baxter...and I arrived at the same place eight years ago...to seamlessly integrate Disney characters into...scenes in the attraction."

Wow. Really? You and Tony...the same characters behind the 1998 "To Imagination and Beyond" fiasco at Disneyland's Tomorrowland? That failed project that yielded a moldy paint scheme, a Rocket Rods ride that was shut down within two and a half years, and..what else? Oh yeah, a general consensus that the whole thing was a flop. Great to hear you guys are behind this!

The legacy of Tomorrowland '98...an abandoned ride, an abandoned paint scheme, and a big WTF in place of the old Rocket Jets.

Point Two: Marty describes Walt as "the greatest 'change agent' who ever walked down Main Street."

I completely want to believe this! I want to believe the tales in which Walt is this guy who would rip out attractions wholesale if he had a newer, bigger idea. I want to believe Walt had no problem taking the ax to a just-fine, barely-one-year-old Viewliner because he stumbled across a slick monorail on a trip to Germany.


Walt may look happy in this 1957 image of the Viewliner, but he had no problem kicking this attraction to the curb when a flashier monorail came available.

But in believing this I have to believe that guys like Marty are either deluded or only half-honest if they think a bunch of robo-Beasts and animatronic-Ariels represent Walt Disney-caliber change. What WDI is doing is putting lipstick on a pig. Walt would have eaten that pig at a luau and replaced it with bigger bacon than anyone had dreamed of before.

This thing from Marty makes me sad. Just like the whole Small World character overlay, it is pointless, misguided, and demonstrates that too many people collecting a Disney paycheck just don't get it.


Something Completely Different

Sad news from Cowtown...Skybus Airlines is dead.

Lots of folks had questions about how this thing could work, based on a model of minimal service, routes to "say wha?" destinations, and $10 fares on every flight.

Me? I took advantage of the cheap rates and enjoyed the direct flights to Oakland and Burbank.

Most of all, I was rooting for Skybus. I wanted it to succeed. This was not just because I was benefitting...I admired the pluck involved in starting a new carrier based on a novel business model...all in the middle of Ohio.

Well, golly, if Ohio Governor Ted Strickland doesn't look as pleased as punch in this photo.


Now, Skybus is no more. I'd like to say I'm happy just to have known Skybus. But, really, I'm pissed off. Not with the Skybus people (though I am sure none of SB's saavy investors lost any money in this scheme). But with our disinterested government and the opportunities it's costing the folks who live in the struggling Midwest.

I hate regulation in general, but there are a few places it seems necessary. Air travel is one of these exceptions. Safety is involved. So are countless individuals and businesses that trust that they will actually be able to travel on the flights that they book.

The FAA grants these carriers the right to fly in the Unites States. They should also mandate an orderly process should an operator elect to close up shop.

Instead, Skybus employees are suddenly jobless. Customers are stranded in places like Greensboro and Gary. Other carriers like Southwest and JetBlue, responding to Skybus's presence, have limited their operations, leaving communities like Columbus with reduced airline capacity. And gobs of tax dollars got spent on red carpets that were rolled out for a bunch of carpetbaggers that skipped town.

It's hard to tell what guys like Columbus's Mayor Mike Coleman were told, formerly or otherwise. But before he or Ohio Governor Ted Strickland exposed their citizens to this kind of risk, they owed it to the people who elected them to ensure Skybus was in this for the long haul and would not pull up stakes with no announcement. And the feds should be mandating the same thing with every carrier.

AB

PS - I just rebooked a trip to Florida this morning on Southwest (an airline that offers service that is INFERIOR to any Skybus service I experienced). My original flight was going into St. Augustine, now I am headed to Orlando. Mickey wins. Ponce de Leon, not so much.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

More Dubailand

Here's an interesting article on Dubailand.

Interesting...40,000 people a day? Sounds like a single attraction's attendance in Orlando.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Sublime...

Monday, March 24, 2008

Nothing to Worry About...

Have no fear, folks...WDI knows what it is doing when it comes to introducing characters to It's a Small World.

I mean, just look at this masterpiece that'll soon be going into Honky Tonk Disneyland.

Didn't McLeach shoot one of these in Rescuers Down Under?

Ick. Let's hope this atrocity won't be surfing its way to Anaheim anytime soon.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Small World hub-bub

Lots of grousing going on about these rumored additions to It's a Small World. You can read Al Lutz's original Miceage.com story here and some huffing and puffing that the Re-Imagineering guys have going on at this link.


What was Mary Blair thinking? This picture needs Stitch in a hula skirt!

My take? Well first off, the ride IS old and COULD stand for some serious reworking. But adding Disney characters isn't the fix...that's just Disney's brand-nazis at work.

In all likelihood, adding Blair-ish characters will just be ugly. Screw the trumped up stories that are already circulating about Walt considering just such a move when the show arrived at Disneyland in '65. Even if that is true, it's a skewed truth. Disney had a whole different approach to its characters in the sixties. It was certainly more restrained. Heck, I have a 1968 souvenir guide that doesn't feature a character until page 6. Imagine that today.


This is Disney's interpretation of a Mickey-tiki. If the "talents" at Disney can manage to take a playful "Polynesian" approach and churn out this gack, image how hideous their Mary Blair-inspired work could be. Yikes!

It's a Small World is a treasure, an attraction that was loved-on by some of the very best artists Disney ever employed. It doesn't deserve to be monkeyed with by punk-talents who are simply doing the bidding of their corporate masters.

Still this attraction is showing its age. No doubt if the Old Man were still running the joint, this show would have been gone a long time ago. I wonder what Walt would have done to top this classic. I wonder if anyone at WDI has the talent to answer that question.

Friday, March 21, 2008

New Ride Announced for Universal Studios!

Hats off to Lance at Screamscape.com! He's been talking up this "Project Rumble" for some time.

Who's that guy on the right waving to?

It will be interesting to see if Disney feels compelled to toss a new coaster into the fray. Between this thing and Sea World's rumored new ride, it seems to be the thing all the other kids are doing.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Happy St. Patrick's Day...

...all you pigs, and chickens, and things!




Tarzan, Frankenstein, and Tonto have nothing on these three!

Drink green beer and behave!

Friday, March 14, 2008

Back to the drawing board

Whazzat...more of the same on this Night Kingdom? This time coming from a "real news" source (of course, most of their information comes from bloggers and unspecified employees)?

Let's hope that if anything is accurate, it's the last line in this report and that the Mouse can make something exciting out of this soggy pizza.

http://www.wftv.com/news/15592397/detail.html

Theme Park Attendance Reports

It's like the new spring catalogs arriving! The 2007 ERA/TEA annual attendance reports were released today. No surprise: Disney had the most attended parks worldwide.

What continues to confuse me is how each of Ohio's two big parks--Cedar Point and King's Island--continue to suck in 3+ million people every year. You'd think folks would get tired of dismal service, dirty grounds, and pretty thin offerings. But then again, Ohio voted George W. Bush into office TWICE.

Enjoy!

http://www.connectingindustry.com/downloads/pwteaerasupp.pdf

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Eeeek!

I am really excited to see this new Toy Story Mania ride--both at Disney's California Adventure and at Disney's Hollywood Studios. But what is it about this image that creeps me out?



Artwork (c) Disney


I can't figure if it's the claustrophobic walls-are-closing-in setwork, or the giant Woody with evil doll eyes that appears to be popping out of nowhere. What other horrors lurk behind these walls?

And what's the deal...is Hamm riding in the car with these guests? Is he gonna bust them for stealing the 3D glasses from Muppetvision?

Here's a mystery to solve: How is it that Disney can create a great attraction and then allow their Marketing folks to fool around and make it look like a wet churro. This is bad.

Still--I'm excited about this ride!

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Pee #3 - PLACE


So what do we mean by Place? Consider the previous analogy, where Purpose is potency and Passion is romance. After all this sweaty-palms stuff, what do you have left?

For a lot of people, the answer is a resounding "nothing." But for others, this answer is, well, something--a relationship. It usually isn't what you'd expect. Maybe it's a lifetime of resentment and misery, or a quiet sort of contentment. For a lucky few, it's a neverending good time.

Inevitably, if there is a "relationship," the people involved find their place. In much the same way, great attractions find their Place too.

Place isn't about location, though location certainly plays a role. Take Rock City, for example. Located in Chattanooga, TN, this is one of those quintessential American establishments, a mom-and-pop roadside attraction that opened in 1932, in the midst of the Great Depression.


Rock City: High Atop Lookout Mountain

Back in its early days, Rock City was a scenic stop that included a hike to the top of Lookout Mountain, where Frieda Carter (wife of Garnet Carter, inventor of Tom Thumb Golf) had created a bucolic trek through natural and contrived rock formations. From this vantage point visitors could purportedly "see seven states."

Blame Global Warming...the most I've ever seen is four!

Rock City is picturesque, idiosyncratic, and a work of love. But plenty of attractions have the same attributes. What sets Rock City apart--what gives it Place--is the way it has positioned itself as this quirky, curious stop along I-75. It seems like everyone has heard of it. For some reason Rock City rises above other highway diversions.

Why? It's hard to tell. Certainly part of it is attributable to the 70-year old campaign of painting barns across the USA with the famous "See Rock City" slogan. But as importantly, Rock City delivered the goods for all those people who ventures from the Interstate...the anxious moms, the weary dads, all those high-strung kids who had been pent up in cars for hours on end, even the grandmas looking for birdfeeders and souvenir spoons.



One of the most successful marketing campaigns: The Rock City Barn!

What does it deliver? Rock City is a sweet, almost anachronistic oasis from the stress of highway travel. As it has grown, its retained its eccentricity. Nestled among Frieda's original rock garden are caverns with weird 50's-era day-glo storybook scenes. Ladies dressed like Mother Goose greet kids and a robot gnome acts as a barker at the entrance. For the Northerners making the pilgrimage to (or from) Orlando, this is the anti-Disney, devoid of corporate artifice and brand promotion. It just feels honest.

That's the Place that Rock City occupies. It's not just that it's a welcome respite from the noise. Rock City is trusted and it delivers. Folks know going in that this place has served generations of travelers just like them.

Circling back on the "Pee #1 -Purpose" post, we have Disneyland. You can argue that the Purpose of this attraction has drifted from Walt's original family park vision and today is something less certain, less definable. To many, Disneyland appears to have consciously violated its founding principle, adding big-budget thrill rides that deliberately split the family, forcing short guests, frail guests, and timid guests into backwater attractions.

Disneyland's Grad Nite--a tame but non-family affair--appeared in 1961.

Though some folks may think that such criticism is unfair, Disneyland's Purpose isn't entirely obvious. That said, Disneyland's PLACE is cemented. It is this legacy attraction. It has entertained millions of people for almost six decades. It is safe. It is all-American. For many families with kids, it is a rite of passage. For locals, it is almost like a neighborhood attraction, a place to go with friends or on a date. For people around the world, Disneyland is a place they trust (even if they don't trust the country it is located in), a place where they expect to be entertained in ways no one else can. Disneyland is an American landmark.

Place is about the relationship an attraction has with its audience. A Great Attraction successfully defines that relationship and in the process creates its Place.

Many attractions fail because the relationship they set out to create never takes hold. Like some lovelorn teenager, their efforts go unacknowledged.

Other attractions, with a history of success and an established Place, attempt to redefine the relationship, upping the ante, showing up one afternoon with a toothbrush and asking for a key to their girlfriend's apartment.

Sometimes this works, as it did when Walt Disney World added its EPCOT Center in 1982, hoping and praying that guests would be hungry for another day of Disney theme park-ing. That gamble resulted in the Mouse's Florida property becoming a multi-day destination in the minds of folks who otherwise considered the Magic Kingdom a drop-in-for-a-day park.

It seems that just as often, an attempt to redefine Place is refused by the audience. Disney's attempt to repeat its Florida success with the addition of Disney's California Adventure is an easy example. But it can certainly happen on a more local scale.

Consider COSI from "Pee#2 - Passion." This was a joint that was loved in its community. But a high-profile move into a colossal Arata Isozaki building, a completely new collection of whiz-bang exhibits, and (perhaps most importantly) a 60% increase in admission costs resulted in a huge backlash. The folks that COSI had established a relationship with didn't know what to expect from this new thing. 9 years later, COSI is still working to regain its footing.

Establishing an attraction's Place is not easy, but it is essential to Greatness. Once that Place is found, it can still be bobbled and lost.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Pee #2 - PASSION

To paraphrase Clara Peller: Where's the Passion?


If Purpose is attraction potency, then Passion is attraction romance. It is all the heady stuff that comes with young love. It's buying flowers and sending notes. It's thoughtful little gifts left on the car seat and playful little nibbles on the ear. It's inside jokes. It's ironing a blouse when no one asked you to.

What's Passion? It's what happens when the people responsible for an attraction sincerely care about what they are creating. You could say they've fallen in love with it, or you could say they've been drinking the Kool-Aid.

A few important things about Passion:

1. It can happen anywhere. Passion can happen in design. It can happen in operations. It can happen at the top of the organization or it can be a grass-roots thing that emerges at the most junior positions.

2. Passion can work miracles. It can make meager budgets seem big. It can make impossible timelines work.

When you consider what the WED folks were able to accomplish in the 1950's and 1960's, well, let's just say its insane by today's standards. Timelines were incredibly compressed. Staff was small, especially the core team. But incredible things were done because people cared. Consider It's a Small World and the work involved. Not just design but translating that to set fabricators, general contractors, robot-builders, lighting guys. Add in things like songwriting and audio production for this whole mess. And a new ride system.





Forget the tired "jokes" about the song, you'd be proud to have created a legacy attraction like It's a Small World.



It's a Small World was built in a year, from concept to opening. This accomplishment is a testament to the prowess of the Disney organization. But the real take-away is the result: It's a Small World remains one of the most pure, most resonant theme park attractions ever. The people who created it had passion.

3. Passion is contagious. It can spread within an organization. This happens when an individual or a group brings an energy to a new project. It can also happen when someone in operations demonstrates that they care and shows their colleagues the results of this kind of attention.

Passion can also "infect" the audience. One of the best examples of this is happening now at Holiday World in Santa Claus, IN. This tiny little park has created a buzz for itself by adding great attractions, maintaining a clean-as-a-whistle operation, and making the place a value for consumers. It is clear that the Koch family and the folks they employ really have a passion for what they do. And in the past eight years or so, the audience has caught on. I first heard about Holiday World through word-of-mouth, from someone who went and just fell in love--not from some marketing machine.

You can be scared of Santa and still get free Pepsi at Holiday World!


4. Passion forgives a lot of mistakes. When an attraction is lavished with attention and caring, folks give the little gaps and edges a pass.

One of the clunkiest attractions I ever visited was the original Center of Science & Industry--COSI--in Columbus, Ohio. It was this weird thing that had crammed its way into an abandoned county building. It opened in the mid sixties and over the next four decades collected the most random exhibits, from see-thru German women to walk-thru exhibits from the 1964 World's Fair to a freakish band of half-scaled Presidents of the United States to a display of every Cracker Jack toy EVER MADE. Oh yeah, they had a troupe of rats who played basketball also.



COSI: This is the future, at least as it looked in Ohio in the 1970's

It was cluttered and disjointed. Show quality was all over the map. Wayfinding was a mess and the adolescent kids in the audience always smelled like they needed deodorant. But you knew the people who were running this place cared. There were shows all the time. There was always something new (not always fresh) being added. The place was a great success in its original, pre-1999 form.

5. Passion matters to guests. This is the key thing to remember. Guests can smell passion and, as importantly, they know when planners, designers, and operators are just phoning it in. The gawd-awful reaction to Disney's California Adventure is in part because the people visiting can tell that this is not the loved-on Disney they expect but an off-the-shelf amusement park laid out by mall developers. I never visited the failed Wild West World in Kansas but its no surprise that place tanked. Just looking at the images the place screamed "County fair rides at theme park prices."

So, if Passion is so darn important, why don't the people that are investing millions of dollars on attractions "get it" and insist on it, just like they insist on ADA compliance and toilet seats? My answer: you can't insist on Passion. You only get that from certain folks and, even then, only when they can really feel it for the job they're working.

Today, you go to Orlando, or Southern California, and you'll find that demand for service employees is pulling resources like taffy. The volume of new attractions being developed internationally is doing the same thing with designers and engineers. Passion--where it exists--is being stretched thin. Toss in the fact that some things are really just hard to care about (you can only design so many attractions about XYZ characters, you can only bang the corporate gong so often before you go into a mild coma) and it is no wonder that so many projects are delivered stillborn.

Passion has never been easy. It's sometimes cheap. But if you can find it, you should sure as hell do whatever you can to keep from losing it.



Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Pee #1 - PURPOSE (aka Attraction Viagra)

So, getting into the Three Pee's of Great Attractions, we'll start with what may be the most obvious Pee: Purpose.

It seems natural that all attractions have a purpose of some kind. On a cynical level, the purpose of many attractions is to separate guests from their money.

But that's not what we're talking about when we say "purpose." We are asking whether an attraction has a reason for being. Is that reason something that audiences sense? Does it really matter to folks that this place exists?

When attractions have Purpose, it's an energy, a form of potency. It's Attraction Viagara. These places are going somewhere.

Places like the British Museum have this kind of Purpose. At the British Museum, people experience Great Works. The art here spans thousands of years and encompasses sexy things like Egyptian statuary and enormous pieces of Greek architecture. And it is all RIGHT THERE. You're not supposed to touch the stuff (some do) but you can examine things down to the pock mark. It can be seen from all sides. It can be smelled. It is a heady and a huge experience.


Artifacts like this Moai are presented at the British Museum, giving locals a reason to stay out of pubs.


Disneyland certainly had Purpose when it opened. Walt Disney conceived this park in the midst of America's great suburbanization. This was a place where families could have fun together. Disneyland embodied the aspirations of middle America circa 1955. Visiting the park became a sort of pilgrimage.

(Walt's original vision behind Disneyland is less central to the park today and its purpose is less focused. Corporate Disney wants to suggest that this is a wholesome fun park that is uniquely able to dispense "magic." For many folks, the park has taken on a more vague, nostalgia-influenced role. We will talk about this more when we get to Pee #3-PLACE).





Disneyland's purpose came from Walt Disney's convictions in what a theme park could be. For the first four years, there were no thrill rides due to concerns that many adults wouldn't be interested.


Why is Purpose important? Well, look at some of the places that lack a sense of purpose.


When Planet Hollywood debuted in New York in 1991 and began to deliberately open locations in destinations like Beverly Hills, this was a brand that felt like it had purpose. "Real" movie artifacts were on display and real movie stars visited and owned the joints. It felt like each of these places were special, each one existed as a unique Hollywood oasis created so that regular folks could step into that exclusive world. Joe Sixpack from Columbus, Ohio would brag to his pals that he'd visited the Planet Hollywood in Miami (and also buy a t-shirt).

But expanding into places like Columbus, Ohio is not the way to remain special. As Planet Hollywood grew, oversaturation eroded what guests percieved as its Purpose. Today, Planet Hollywood has gone through two bankruptcies and is just a big Johnny Rockets with rubber Schwarzenegger props.



Planet Hollywood Casino: Why does the world need one of these?

The same thing happened with the entire Six Flag's Worlds of Adventure fiasco. For years, two fine parks--Sea World and Geauga Lake--existed on the same little lake in Northeast Ohio. Sea World, in fact, was a huge success, much better received than its cousin that opened in Orlando a year later.

Sea World works because there is a palpable sense of Purpose behind the place. That was obliterated when Six Flags bought that marine park and subsumed its brand. No more was there a modest little amusment park across the lake from a special little sea life park. Now, there was this behemoth that sounded like it belonged in Orlando and could never really explain what kind of animal it wanted to be. Six Flags couldn't make sense of it. Neither could Cedar Fair. Come this summer, it will all be reduced down to just another water park.

Anyone else remember when the Justice League was at Sea World Ohio?

Purpose matters. It's how guests understand what an attraction "does." When there is no apparent Purpose, the attraction just goes limp in the public's mind. Purpose is attraction Viagra.

Monday, February 25, 2008

The Three Pee's of Great Attractions - Pt. 1 of 4



Who's to say what makes a Great Attraction? Well, this is the Internet, so anyone can say anything they want...

So, with that we offer The Three Pee's of Great Attractions.

But first, let us clarify what we mean by "attraction." Does this cover themed attractions, like parks? Why yes it does! But it also includes any place that is both a diversion and a physical place. Attractions are places you go to that provide experiences that are different to regular life. With that in mind, attractions can be museums, zoos, hotels, restaurants. For some people, the airport may be an attraction. For others, it's a truck stop (I know a great TA on I-75 south of Cincinnati).



Mount Rushmore is an attraction!


With that in mind...The Three Pees of Great Attractions:

  1. PURPOSE
  2. PASSION
  3. PLACE

Now...what do we mean by each of these Pees? Check back later to find out!



Congratulations!

No one can say you didn't deserve it. The Pixar gang really did a bang up job with this film.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

What Are the Chances?


What are the chances that Surf's Up will walk away with the little gold man tonight? It was far from a perfect movie, but for that matter Ratatouille was far from perfect. I think it would be nice to see this--the best of the penguin movies--receive some cred.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

My Backstory is Bigger than your Backstory

For any Disnoid who hasn't picked up The Disney Mountains by Jason Surrell, you owe it to yourself to do so. The binding is flimsy, but the content is decent.


Buy me new on Amazon for $14!

Once you read this thing, I'd like to hear your take on Joe Rohde and his ongoing prattle about every last bit of who-gives-a-crap that went into Expedition EVEREST. Don't get me wrong, I have a tremendous amount of respect for anyone who gets way beyond the nitty-gritty to create an attraction with heart. But if you are doing this in the name of STORY, well, how about first you make sure you have a story that makes sense.

What do I mean? Well, I am not talking about the obvious misdirection involved with the Everest angle...it makes no sense but, well--yeah it really doesn't make sense, does it?

No, I am talking about this bit of nonsensicalness:

  1. You climb up this mountain on a train. The train is on tracks.

  2. Suddenly, you discover the road ahead is blocked: the tracks are ripped up (presumably by a monkey-man)

  3. Somehow you, in the train, go flying backward. As you are on a route you didn't come up on and there is no indication in the story that there is a switch, it appears that our storytellers are suggesting that the train is now off the tracks.

  4. You, in the train, then see the shadow of the monkey-man. He is RIPPING UP TRACKS and now, somehow, you are back on the rails.

I know this sounds like quibbling, and it is. But it makes no sense.

It is also basic. This kind of flimsiness is apparent to more guests than the authenticity of some natural mineral-stain that could only be found in Tibet. If Disney can afford to spend millions on research trips/corporate vacations, why can't they spend a couple extra grand concocting a story that holds water?

Friday, February 22, 2008

Disneyland's New Hotel

Bring back the sign!


There's a great discussion over on the laughingplace boards regarding a proposed hotel at the east entry to the Disneyland Resort.

While there are many logistical issues (most of which are easily solved by looking at what was done in Paris and Tokyo) I'm most intrigued by the potential theme of such a property. Many make the case for a Victorian themed affair. Me? I think Disneyland should tip its Mouse Ears to the Harbor Boulevard of old and build a Googie-inspired space age hotel.


Perhaps inspired by a local landmark?

Something clean, white, optimistic, and fantastical. Something that celebrates a purely-Southern Californian vernacular. Something that makes amends for mucking up the once-beautiful Tomorrowland '67.

Bring back the old Disneyland sign at that entrance, provide a backdoor into Tomorrowland for these hotel guests. Houston: I think we've got a winner.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Disney's Night Kingdom: How Does THAT Math Work?

So, I started this by weighing Jim Hill's article on Disney's Night Kingdom against the disappointment I heard on many fronts that this was not going to be something like a 4 hour dark ride. We'll go into that later.

The thing that struck me along the way is that something in Jim Hill's math doesn't hold up, or Disney is doing something very uncommon for them. Let me explain.

There are really just two primary factors in assessing how much money your gated attraction will earn annually: attendance and per cap spending (what the average guest spends). Once you know that, you can come up with a picture of what you'll earn in a year (just multiply the two). That's your revenue.

And, from that, you can figure out how much you can spend on the initial capital investment in the park. To simplify, you subtract all your operating costs--labor, insurance, licensing, etc--what you are left with is your EBITDA--earnings before interest taxes depreciation and amortization. We'll just call it profit, though its not exactly the same.

A good profit is 20% of earnings. How many years will you spend your profits paying back your initial investment? Back in the early 1990's Eisner and Wells used to tout their 5 year payback model.


What does it cost to feed a couple of these things every year? Image (c) Disney.


We'll stop there and do some quick math. Let's say this new park is a $300 gate price, plus Disney wrestles another $20 bucks out of each guest. Per cap spending is $320. And let's use Jim's 2000 person capacity number and--because this is Disney--we'll assume that every day of the year, the park is filled to the gills. 2000 x 365 = 730,000 guests per year x $320 = $233,600,000. Holy mackerel but that is a lot of money!

But, if Disney's making a 20% profit, that is only $46.7 million annually.

I say only, because one of Hill's big points is that Disney is going to be spending north of $500m on this park. At 20% profit, it would take Disney more than a decade to pay that back. Figure in normal interest rates and that payback window is much longer.

Now, if Disney were able to make a 35% profit--not unheard of in attractions, but a sign of HUGE success--profits are $81.7 million. Much better but still requiring more than 6 years to pay back the principal Jim Hill is referencing.

Throw in Hill's claims that the first two years the park won't even be running at full capacity...who knows?

But my take is that Disney is betting on a park that HAS to do PHENOMENAL numbers from opening--50% or 60% profits--or it will quickly show itself to be an albatross around the company's neck. That, or Jim Hill's information is off.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

How Does This Make Any Sense???



If you think this makes no sense, try piecing together Jim Hill's most recent story.


Ask me six or seven years ago and I would've told you that Jim Hill was my favorite Disnoid-writer in the whole wide Interweb. For reasons we won't bother with here, that changed, but I've always believed Jim was one of the gang--a Disney geek with enough of a head on his shoulders to be skeptical when required. If anything, I thought the guy was getting to be a little too rough on the Mouse following the Pixar purchase a couple of years back.

But then, what the heck is this story Jim "broke" on Friday?

Jim's purportedly got the inside scoop on WDW's 5th gate, whimsically referred to as Disney's Night Kingdom or DNK . And maybe he does--I'm not suggesting he's making things up. But look at what he's describing. First off, the title suggests that the Mouse is set "to reimagine the Disney-theme-park-going experience." And maybe the key word to appreciate in that phrase is the "Disney" modifier, because Jim then goes on to explain that this park is really just aping Sea World's Discovery Cove.

Read the specific experiences Hill is listing: rock climbing, spelunking, frolicing with penguins, zip lining over crocodiles, and--OH YEAH--eating gourmet meals and watching state-of-the-art stage shows. Huh? Jim's article just gives that randomness a pass.

But I think this is my favorite part of the whole story:

"I know, I know. A lot of you may have trouble wrapping your heads around a Disney theme park that's as distinctly different as DNK is going to be."

Yes, I am sure it is all the reader's fault, not being able to make sense out of this Frankensteined mess that's been described. Just as it was guests' fault for not appreciating the masterpiece that was Disney's California Adventure on opening day. At least the marketing department will be there to show us the way!

(deleted)

Who knows, if Disney decides to cook up this stew, they may just pull it off. But this is the same company that:

  1. took nearly a decade to convince guests that a $750 million zoo was worth a visit.
  2. is throwing in the towel and an extra billion dollars to pull DCA out of the ashes.
  3. routinely scares guests with its Year of a Million Dreams-scheme.
  4. marketed the Disney Institute big-time and then quietly euthanized it due to lack of interest.


Jim thinks the big question is whether his readers will shell out $250-$300 to visit this thing he's outlined. Yeah...THAT'S the big question alright.

For my part, I wonder what the heart of the place is, what's the big idea? Swimming with dolphins I get--it's what every kid who goes to Sea World dreams of...doing that in an island setting has a romance to it. But what is this "Night Kingdom?" It sounds like a downtown version of Medieval Times.

If Jim wants to ask his audience questions, how about asking what everyone thinks about Disney swiping a successful operating model from another park down the street?

Or, if Jim is really interested in how this park and your billfold might interact, how about finding out whether guests would prefer to spend their $300 bucks on "Night Kingdom" or Discovery Cove?

I firmly believe that mixing up the theme park model is necessary and that Discovery Cove is an indicator of what bold moves and great ideas--when paired together--can yield. There are so many more opportunities out there...especially when capacity can get dialed down. I sincerely hope Disney has that great new attraction in their grasp. If they do, Jim Hill's story did nothing to promote it.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

No Bull

Well now, what does Lance have over on his screamscape site? A cow? At Hard Rock Park? I wonder how they moooved that in.

This link will steer you to the image.

I can't decide if it's cheesey or well done.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Words of wisdom from Jay Rasulo

This just in from Jay Rasulo, Chairman of Walt Disney Parks & Resorts (courtesy The New York Times)

Photo (c) Disney

“Guests are pretty much no longer interested in being passive viewers,” Mr. Rasulo said.

First, a word of caution: Whoa, Jay-bird...that there's a pretty strongly worded phase! It has all the spine of overcooked linguini.

Second of all: WRONG! Many of your guests want nothing more than to be "passive viewers." Note to Jay: try visiting Pirates of the Caribbean at about 1pm on New Year's Eve. On my visit this year, the line was more than an hour long. BTW - when you're on that ride, all you do is sit on your butt.

Finally: If you really believe them words, how can you justify sinking millions and millions of dollars into a Nemo submarine ride (where you do nothing but sit on your butt and look out the window)? Or a Nemo show at DAK (where you do nothing but sit on your butt and watch some dancers get their exercise with a bunch of fish puppets)? Or ANOTHER Nemo ride at Epcot (where you sit on your butt in a fiberglass clam and watch a bunch of fish out a window)?

Someone please explain what J-Ro means by all this?

Livin' in the Trees


Some things can make you feel old.

Take for instance the story that popped up on mouseplanet yesterday about the Treehouse Villas being reborn (you can visit the story here)



Old timey Treehouse




New-fangled above-the-flood-plane Treehouse



When I was a kid, we spent three or four vacations back in the Treehouses. They were completely secluded back in this woods that Disney had carved out. There was a real sense of being away from everything.

At the time, I had mixed feelings about them, because they were so far off the beaten path. It was a real production getting anywhere. With one exception: Disney Village.

Back in the 80' and early 90's you could rent an electric golf cart if you stayed in any of the villas and drive--across golf course paths, public roads, and sidewalks--all the way up to Disney Village. And it wasn't like there was just a little parking pad when you first got there. We would drive all the way around to the Empress Lilly and park right in front. There were even little quad boxes where you could plug in your ride while you went shopping, dining, etc.


Back when there was a paddlewheel...



There was a such a feeling of freedom associated with the carts and the Treehouses, the whole Disney Village Resort area.

By contrast, things now are so heavily programmed between the village, Saratoga Springs and the whole DVC machine. Disney characters are everywhere. So are chain restaurants and traffic snarls. The Treehouses may be coming back but it is in name only. Disney can't buck their own trends.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Wall-E



I really cannot wait for this. There's something so warm and simple in what's popped up so far on WALL-E.

In my dreams it's like Dumbo and Bambi had a baby, only instead of the result being some freakish big-eared deer with skin problems, limited speaking ability, and the powers of flight, its all those quiet moments from both films that maximize action in lieu of spoken words, strung together on a simple Dumbo-esque story thread.

Being that Pixar is involved, this thing has a 87.5% chance of being better than I expect (hey, I guess they had to make a film like Cars at some point).

Much better video can be found at the Disney.com site. Try this: http://disney.go.com/disneypictures/wall-e/

What Mickey Can't Do


The Huff-N-Puff from Sellner Manufacturing.
Learn more about them here: http://www.whirlin.com/kiddie_rides.html


Growing up as a kid, I believed there was nothing that Disney couldn't do. While there's still a soft spot in me that wants to believe that, time and experience have taught that the size and slickness you find at Disney, Universal, Busch, and the other big guns comes at a price. Take capacity for instance.

If you are a big park and you are expecting 15, 20, or 45 thousand people in your gate at any given moment, capacity is right up there with Jesus, Mary, and ammunition. Everyone who has been to a park and given the operation of the joint five minutes thought knows that. It's why the parks spring for big-budget rides like Pirates of the Caribbean. They can eat up the people. Get 'em in, get 'em through, get 'em out. The air conditioning doesn't hurt.

Most people avoid Dumbo, even Peter Pan's Flight, when the parks are crushed because the time invested isn't worth what you get from it.

In the name of efficiency, Disney has set a minimum threshold of acceptability. But consider what they deny themselves, and their guests. Quiet experiences. Self-guided experiences. Experiences with more than one front door. Experiences that offer more than a single, inherently obvious flow. Experiences that encourage high dwell time, repeatability, or non-traditional usage. Experiences that don't squash spontanaeity.

(Busch has knocked on this door a little with Discovery Cove, but for those who have visited the headline attraction--swimming with the dolphins--is a very regimented affair. Plus the dolphins will only let you get to second base.)

This is a theme we plan to explore here. If you have any thoughts, we'd love to hear them.

And, hey, don't those Huff-N-Puffs look fun?

Saturday, February 9, 2008

You're Going to (Disney's) Hollywood (Studios)











Artwork (c) Disney

Disney announced a new American Idol attraction that will set up shop in the old Superstar Television building at Disney's Hollywood Studios.

While WDW management should be commended for a) doing something with this abandoned structure and b) using a television property rather than creating another shopfront stuffed with princesses and c) avoiding the temptation to go cheap and incestuous with their own tween-centric High School Musical/Cheetah Girls/Hannah Montana programming, I still have to wonder how well this all-but washed up Fox show will play in just a few years. American Idol is showing its age. The viewing audience for its opening episode this season was its lowest in four years. As malaise sets in and the wind goes out of American Idol's sails, the park will be left with another empty Who Wants to be a Millionaire building.

Still, I'm curious to visit this attraction and to find out how Disney deals with one of the show's most iconic elements: Simon Cowell's signature insults. Many viewers tune in to American Idol just to watch as unfortunates are singled out by Cowell and subsequently ridiculed during each season's initial episodes. Will Disney subject their guests to random acts of mean-spiritedness? If they avoid this aspect of the show, will they be neutering it for guests who are coming just to hear wry British putdowns?

And one last thing...what is with this concept art? The people are rendered about 3x as large as they would appear against the existing structure. As part of this renovation, are they shrinking the building? Are they only inviting the sad victims of bovine growth hormone overdoses? Either way, the whole thing just comes across as something more rinky-dink than I imagine Disney had hoped.

And one last-last thing, again on the concept art. For those who pine for the original Disney-MGM Studios with its Hollywood-That-Never-Was aesthetic, well, let's just kiss that old idea goodbye. If this attraction is realized as rendered, we'll have a sleek contemporary structure and an overscaled, visually hyperactive LED board screaming at the end of Hollywood Boulevard. If the hat wasn't enough, this attraction may well be the cut that kills the old Bob Weis-era Studios.

Oh well, here's hoping they have a Clay Aiken rubberhead wandering the park.

What You'll Get: scene from the Space Mountain queue