What Disney's Hollywood Studios Doesn't Need...

...is another show. Good lord, you spend a day at this joint and it's hurry-hurry, scurry-scurry from one scheduled event to another. Guess it wouldn't be so bad if the shows ran all day--like they do at Sea World--but most of Disney's shows shut down just about the time that the Florida sun switches from Atomic to Something Tolerable.

If Toy Story Mania proves anything, it's that the Studios need(s) more rides to fill out the guest experience. Especially family rides.

So, as Jim Hill provides this news about the new American Idol attraction--one more big show--I just gotta think this is another misguided Marketing-driven attraction that throws this park even further out of balance.

Million Dollar Spud

Just back from a ridiculously-long vacation to the sunshine state and the Vacation Kingdom of the World. While there, we made sure to visit Toy Story/Midway Mania ride at Disney's MGM Hollywood Studios Theme Park. More about the ride below. This entry begins with a recounting of our second visit to this attraction.

Anyway, we took the Standby line which was posted at 65 minutes but was chucking along so quick, it seemed like our wait would be maybe half that. Of course, the idiot who thinks that way jinxes himself. And sure enough, the line just stopped.

I used this time to take in the queue (nothing really special, big toys on a thin budget) and the much-lauded Tater Head animatronic (NOT visible to Fastpassers). So we stood watching the Potato. Pretty soon, he started acting weird. He'd freeze. Then he'd hit the wall. He took his ear out (nice). When he went to shove it back in, he kind of just lobbed it onto the floor (ooops!).

Below is a suboptimal, blurry shot of the unfortunate Cast Member who had to walk the gauntlet of grumbling Standby guests so he could replace the giant spud-ear using a highly-themed aluminum stepladder.

(Seriously, I'm totally embarrassed at the quality of this shot.)

"Hurry up, ya hockey puck! Bob Iger spent more on my nose than you'll make in a lifetime!"

Tater Head continued to sputter and whirr as we stood in place for 90 minutes. Once, he went haywire when an irritable guest used an emergency exit near the spud...seemed like some proximity sensor killed the show.

Panic Bar versus Tater Head. Panic Bar WINS!

Eventually though, we did ride (after a 130 minute wait...STOOPID Fastpass). And it is a very well done attraction. Insanely addictive.

THE FUNMEISTER IS DEAD!

LONG LIVE THE FUNMEISTER!





I can't figure out whether I should be sad or resigned to the idea that Pleasure Island wil officially be shuttered this September. The memories of great times are there, but it has been way too much work to pretend that PI was fun for, oh, maybe the last decade. Seriously, how many times can you sit through the same show at Adventurers Club and pretend the old yarns are still funny, or even interesting?

What I do mourn is the fact that Pleasure Island never lived up to its potential and now never will. There was always this nugget inside me that hoped the Mouse would someday see that PI could be "grown up" and still every bit as rich and fanciful as the best Disney attraction.

Instead we say goodnight to Merriweather Adam Pleasure, his idiot sons, the canvas factory, the pigeons from Sandusky, and the Balderdash Awards. We loved you when you were young. But we'd rather see you dead than have you living as some gibbering, drooling old fart.

Marty's Small World

I have loads of respect for Marty Sklar. So when he pipes up about this Small World character overlay, you have to take notice.

Two things I'll point out...the most minor point first:

Point One (edited for brevity's sake): Marty says that in order, "to make 'It’s A Small World' even more relevant to our guests, Tony Baxter...and I arrived at the same place eight years ago...to seamlessly integrate Disney characters into...scenes in the attraction."

Wow. Really? You and Tony...the same characters behind the 1998 "To Imagination and Beyond" fiasco at Disneyland's Tomorrowland? That failed project that yielded a moldy paint scheme, a Rocket Rods ride that was shut down within two and a half years, and..what else? Oh yeah, a general consensus that the whole thing was a flop. Great to hear you guys are behind this!

The legacy of Tomorrowland '98...an abandoned ride, an abandoned paint scheme, and a big WTF in place of the old Rocket Jets.

Point Two: Marty describes Walt as "the greatest 'change agent' who ever walked down Main Street."

I completely want to believe this! I want to believe the tales in which Walt is this guy who would rip out attractions wholesale if he had a newer, bigger idea. I want to believe Walt had no problem taking the ax to a just-fine, barely-one-year-old Viewliner because he stumbled across a slick monorail on a trip to Germany.

Walt may look happy in this 1957 image of the Viewliner, but he had no problem kicking this attraction to the curb when a flashier monorail came available.

But in believing this I have to believe that guys like Marty are either deluded or only half-honest if they think a bunch of robo-Beasts and animatronic-Ariels represent Walt Disney-caliber change. What WDI is doing is putting lipstick on a pig. Walt would have eaten that pig at a luau and replaced it with bigger bacon than anyone had dreamed of before.

This thing from Marty makes me sad. Just like the whole Small World character overlay, it is pointless, misguided, and demonstrates that too many people collecting a Disney paycheck just don't get it.

Something Completely Different

Sad news from Cowtown...Skybus Airlines is dead.

Lots of folks had questions about how this thing could work, based on a model of minimal service, routes to "say wha?" destinations, and $10 fares on every flight.

Me? I took advantage of the cheap rates and enjoyed the direct flights to Oakland and Burbank.

Most of all, I was rooting for Skybus. I wanted it to succeed. This was not just because I was benefitting...I admired the pluck involved in starting a new carrier based on a novel business model...all in the middle of Ohio.

Well, golly, if Ohio Governor Ted Strickland doesn't look as pleased as punch in this photo.

Now, Skybus is no more. I'd like to say I'm happy just to have known Skybus. But, really, I'm pissed off. Not with the Skybus people (though I am sure none of SB's saavy investors lost any money in this scheme). But with our disinterested government and the opportunities it's costing the folks who live in the struggling Midwest.

I hate regulation in general, but there are a few places it seems necessary. Air travel is one of these exceptions. Safety is involved. So are countless individuals and businesses that trust that they will actually be able to travel on the flights that they book.

The FAA grants these carriers the right to fly in the Unites States. They should also mandate an orderly process should an operator elect to close up shop.

Instead, Skybus employees are suddenly jobless. Customers are stranded in places like Greensboro and Gary. Other carriers like Southwest and JetBlue, responding to Skybus's presence, have limited their operations, leaving communities like Columbus with reduced airline capacity. And gobs of tax dollars got spent on red carpets that were rolled out for a bunch of carpetbaggers that skipped town.

It's hard to tell what guys like Columbus's Mayor Mike Coleman were told, formerly or otherwise. But before he or Ohio Governor Ted Strickland exposed their citizens to this kind of risk, they owed it to the people who elected them to ensure Skybus was in this for the long haul and would not pull up stakes with no announcement. And the feds should be mandating the same thing with every carrier.

AB

PS - I just rebooked a trip to Florida this morning on Southwest (an airline that offers service that is INFERIOR to any Skybus service I experienced). My original flight was going into St. Augustine, now I am headed to Orlando. Mickey wins. Ponce de Leon, not so much.

More Dubailand

Here's an interesting article on Dubailand.

Interesting...40,000 people a day? Sounds like a single attraction's attendance in Orlando.

Sublime...